The Crazy Horse

118 reviews for “The Crazy Horse”

1. It happened with me couple times, once we 5–6 friends went to a strip club and were enjoying nude dance. It was in Quebec City and girls were coming to our tables asking if we want them to take in a private room. They were asking $20 for 5 mins lap dance. There about 10 girls in club who were dancing turn by turn. We all decided to have lap dance with all girls turn by turn by spending $200 each. It was my 7th or 8th girl for nude lap dance when I was so excited and was trying to control it but suddenly I was blasted and I pushed her away and ran towards washroom. My underwear was all wet and dirty, all cum was inside, I try to clean it with paper towels. It was big embarrassment for me but girl was smiling and said it is okay. I throw my underwear in garbage and come back to my table without underwear under my pant and start watching dance again. After half an hour later, when I was normal than ask another girl to go in a room. I enjoyed all girls in club that night. It was fun, they were letting me touch their bodies.

2. I would say about 5% cum in their pants. 1 in maybe 20 even less.

   But I love it when they cum in their pants in 3 minutes but already paid for 30 minute show. Cuz then they run out and it’s super easy money.

3. I’ve been frequenting strip clubs for over twenty years. While I enjoy watching beautiful women dance in the nude, my primary reason for going is to receive lap dances. I learned long ago that bike shorts are the key to an amazing experience. Form fitting spandex allows you to easily adjust your cock through the fabric. It also holds your member in place as the lady grinds on it which is an awesome sensation when she is fully nude and the only thing separating your dick from her pussy is a thin piece of lycra. Needless to say, this makes it very easy to cum. Early on, I felt awkward after I’d splooge, as it was pretty obvious from the big wet spot on my shorts what had just happened. However, not once has a lady ever gotten angry with me and most are actually happy knowing that I truly enjoyed their service. Nowadays, I’m no longer embarrassed when I nut during a dance but have learned to wear a sweatshirt as well. It helps to cover up the evidence when departing the booth and avoid any unnecessary questions or looks from the bartender/cashier when paying for the dance. I can only speak for myself when answering the question as to how often men cum in their pants while getting a lap dance. In my case, virtually every time.

4. I am very much qualified to answer this as I came two times out of my 3 lap dances.

   It was in crazy horse gentleman’s club in SF. My first time to a full nude club and to my surprise, the club has majority of asians yet some of the beautiful asians I have ever seen. I was looking for a white girl as I fantasize more about them but all the white girls have been busy. Since I was running out of time I had to take a lap dance.

   There is this cute asian girl who came by sat beside me and greeted me in a sexy manner.I liked her and soon she offered me a dance. To my surprise she quoted more than anyone else and finally made a deal of $110 for 3 songs of dance where I can touch anywhere I want(No fingering and penetrating though)

   The dance began and she smelled so good. I removed my belt off my jogger denim as a previous stripper from Condor club had a very hard time with it. As I started removing my belt, she was like “what the heck is going on?” She soon understood and continued to dance. I felt so relaxed and really enjoying the show. She had me unhook her bra and panties and let me touch and grope her boobs and pussy. I can see her pussy is little wet and her juices are slightly dripping out. I was rock hard by half the time(even now as I type (; ) and really want to eat her out. I could not control and asked her if I could lick her pussy. Her immediate reaction was “They’d kill me if I let you do it”. I was really getting towards edge. My cock was aligned in parallel to two thighs and she is rubbing it with her thighs. I so badly wanted to cum and put my hand in my pants and alighted my cock on my belly. She kinda noticed it but continued dancing. Now that my cock is right position, I began dry humping her pussy soon after like a 10 humps I was able to cum in my pants. My best orgasm ever. I kind of afraid of her reaction if I say I cum, so kept silent. As she continued dancing, she noticed my cum coming out of my pants at the belly button area. She immediately swiped her fingernail on it and applied it on her tongue winking at me. Before I could even react, she licked it back on my cheek and said “That belongs to you” (gross? cute?)

   I was able to hump her more before finally finishing the dance. Worth every dollar I have spent. Comment your views pls.

5. Great peeler joint. In my opinion, this is a nice strip club in San Francisco. It has a great variety of girls, a relaxed atmosphere, and the dancers don’t hound you like the teasaholic JetBlueBaller salespeople at this week’s Technical Forums.Have lap dance with Roxanne – Blonde usually in very stylish lingerie.

6. We were in SF and wanted to explore something different. It was a Friday night so the place was packed. The girls were decent and 100% nude. My husband and I got joined private lap dance with the same girl. She let me roamed my hands all over her body during the dance so I touched and squeezed everything. My hub was greened with envy needless to say. I assumed that she didnt want me to get jealous so she didnt really let him touch her the way I did. They even had some featured dancer that night who did more than just stripping her clothes. There were toys involved. All I can say was…. WOW….This place was small, dingy looking. If you’re expecting a place like Cheetah’s in Vegas, you will be disappointed. Overall, it was a good experience and I had a lot of fun….more than my hub for sure.

7. One of my favorite places to go have fun and forget about life stresses. The dancers are fantastic here, especially when they have special guest dancers (Ex. Charmane Star, etc) To truly enjoy this place, dont simply go to the private dance session, you have to enjoy the shows. You have to tip people!!! to have fun and I dont mean alot, just a few bucks (Ex $5 -10 in dollars) I’ve seen people that just sit and watch and expect attention….if that’s the case just simple download videos.

8. Paid the cover. About to sit down.. Thought betterLeft.. This place if old, dirty and not what I expected

9. A bone piercing wind blew through The City, ripping right through your clothes and penetrating deep into your soul (if you have one). The chill knocked at mine and asked what drew me on such a miserable night out? A hard hand & a third leg was all my miserable soul could answer. Pushing my way through the crowd for a nearby concert, I crossed the doors and met a surly middle aged bald man. He took my money, commented about the “gay concert next store” and gave me plenty of ones. I turned the corner and entered the theater, with a long aisle leading to the stage. A lovely nude asian gal was roaming the premises, trying to find a sucker for a private dance. Well, she found me and we went to the back for a little chit chat. I caved in and I got three dances. During it, she tried to entice me for more. Showing me her most tender of body parts, she tried convincing me with a “how much is in your bank account? How much can you charge on your credit card? Let’s do a $1000. Is that too high? $500 will get the ball rolling.” She used a lot of bland clichés to get me excited but I knew better. I strung her along but, having her walk to the front counter naked, acting as if I couldn’t make up my mind……but I know better. Those entering got a good look at her goods courtesy of this hardballer. Back I went into the club, sitting near the open seats in the back, not wanting to be enticed. Strippers came, strippers went (including these massively fake boobed asian gals who slithered towards any C-notes). A light skinned black gal emerged upon my seat after dancing on stage. She took a look at me & had the appearance of a girl who wanted to bite, chew, stab, flay, scissor, or choke me, all night. “I’m your girl, baby!” she told me, with an intensely threateningly look. I thought: if she attacks my third leg like this than I’m gonna spew towards the heavens. We went into one of the rooms, and she gave me a happy ending as I drank from her motherhood, caressing her broadside. All for a nice price. Come here, be picky, just don’t get scammed or suckered into paying more. Remember there’s tissues inside the rooms to wipe the sin away!

10. Okay, here are my latest dancer updates for this club: Nikita – my favorite dancer. Tall, Asian and newly tanned. Great on the runway and in the lapdance room. Malibu – New blonde, still seems a little nervous onstage, good ld’s. Makayla – Beautiful Asian girl that avoids me to no end, which is strange since I’ve never gotten an ld from her. Kaylee – the librarian.. I call her that because, though a beautiful blonde, she’s very thin and covered in quote tattoos. The challenge is to read it while she’s moving. I have no ld experience with her but she’s great on the runway. Erika – Best (fake) chest in the club. Short tanned up brunette. Kinda Jersey girl personality without the accent, which is good. She’s getting butt implants which she does NOT need. If you see her, please convince her she doesn’t need it. Candi – Another tall tan Asian girl, but this one has blonde hair and, FINALLY, a dancer that shaves her legs. Seriously, after dances with other girls, it was starting to feel like a lumberjill convention in there. Malia – I barely recognized her with her new look (much longer hair and tanned beyond belief.. almost Snookified). This one’s a bit aggressive but a good ld nonetheless. Tara – Still cute but looks to have unnecessarily lost a few pounds. Very good stage and ld. Chanell – If you ever wondered what a lapdance from Lindsay Lohan (minus the drugs and insanity) would be like, this is as close as you will find. Great on stage and excellent ld. Riley – Best ass in the club. Short but oh so sweet workout body with long brown hair. Great ld and stage show. Precious – her tattoos finally healed, so the thin brunette’s ready for lapdances; though, the last time I tried hers, it felt like she was using her pelvic bones to give a vasectomy. Yeah ouch. The dj, Mr. ‘That’s Right’, tends to talk a lot over the music, especially with the features, but the veteran customers get used to it. Outside of there being a functioning men’s bathroom now, the club itself hasn’t really changed for a few years.

11. The talent here is like a buffet. Sometimes you just want a little of this and a little of that, but this is a high priced buffet and it costs a pretty price just to get a seat. About $30 to get in. Not a good value. On the other hand I was expecting a gross venue due to it’s location and surprisingly it’s not gross.Shout out to Brittany and Tina for giving my posse a memorable night!

12. I started going there the year I turned 18. My 19th birthday was better because it landed on a Saturday and I went there at midday. I saw two of the dancers I had become somewhat friends with, Mercedes and Sara, plus I saw Raylene on stage. It’s cheaper if you go earlier as opposed to later- $15-midday price.Unfortunately, I’ve never been there with a female friend. Crazy Horse is the best strip club in San Francisco!

13. *bass hitting hard*Hey, you look kinda cute!In that polka dotted bikini girl!Hey, this is what i wanna do!Take off that polka dotted bikini girl!…*beat stops*erm, not you in the purple… no, not you in the red *shakes head*the sexy one in the front… yeah, you, in the pink *nods head**beat back on*Rolled through here for a bachelor party. Got here past the, I think the 9pm cut off and had to pay full $25 cover. I figure, whatever, it’s a bachelor party! I found that there was the cat walk and a creepy theater vibe with a mix of pervs, young bucks and female sharks trolling for easy cash… i take that back, i mean to say, peddling their services for hard earned monetary compensation. There’s the side room for regular lap dances and then the private rooms for… yeah, you know what i’m talking about.. After getting inside and found that the 3 rows parallel to the cat walk was full we had to find a place to accommodate the 10 of us. Fortunately there were some of the theater seating perpendicular close to the stage. I found that it was just right because if you sit on the inside of the row you don’t get much solicitation. And being the best man, my first and foremost consideration was to get the slave.. I mean groom-to-be his first and more than likely last lap dance first. Not to mention that I had a responsibility to get all the other men in the party their lap dances before I could even begin to think of participating in such lewd behavior. Well, all in all, it didn’t take too long for my turn at bat. While we waited the stage performances weren’t half bad all things considered. And there were some cute women, to hot women, to HAWT DAMN! Anyhow, some of them wait for you to come to them, some are more proactive about soliciting (which is kind of hot) and then there are those that seem to be on the hunt. This one cowboy hat wearing lady came at the entire group very bluntly saying that I should be her first client for the night. But I told her that I was the last due to my position in the group and she flat out said, “What makes you the best man? Let me take you back there and I’ll be the judge of that…” She had a mouth on her… no pun intended and good thing for me that all that guys in the party were more than willing to take her up on her challenge… hell one guy took her up on her offer three three times.Anyways after all was said and done, everyone had already been seen to and it was my turn for some attention. I moved toward an aisle seat and let fate take me down which ever sordid path I was destined for. And down that path I went toward the… *wait for it*…. Private Rooms for me… what you thought I was going to the PARTIALLY nude lap dance room after all that work I just put in?;D

14. Crazy Horse. Thank you for making me the man I am today.I think I got my first lap dance before I got my first kiss. I can’t even describe the things I have seen here. I have had candle wax poured on me. I have received an atomic wedgie. I have even been on stage a couple times, too.This is a great place in your early 20’s. Just sit in the front with a stack of 1’s and you will be good for an hour.

15. I like the two girls show on the poles since there are two poles beautiful stage twice the show they have their two girls show which is hard to find at clubs even in Vegas I’ve been to over two dozen gentlemen clubs maybe here and new century are the only ones with two poles same time their special guests stars twice a month are great performers too.

16. I went here thinking this place might be like the crazy horse in vegas and paris…boy was I off on that one! I think its just a normal strip club, but the girls are really friendly and fun. I was speaking with a bounce at another club and he said some of the girls are off the street. I dont really know much about these things, but I had a good time.

17. Place is a mint joint. It is being runnned by dumb and dumber. The quality of girls they’re hiring are laughable and the pornstars they’re bringing in is even more laughable. Back in it’s heyday you were guaranteed 5 gorgeous girls working any shift. Now you would be lucky to see 1 per any shift. It’s also quite amusing watching how some of these girls operate. They have no shame. They will rob you blind if you let them and management will not do a damn thing about it. Hell they are probably in on it.

18. There are some things that I don’t like about this place but the things that I DO like make me feel like a pervert. lol. I’ll start off with what I don’t like:- parking is a biatch. it’s the city so i won’t b*tch and moan over this one. it just makes me feel desperate for a** when i have to walk so far for it! hahaha. – the girls that walk up and down the aisles don’t approach me as much as girls at other clubs do (like centerfolds or cheetahs). i’m not scary looking and i’m pretty sure i’m more loaded than that creepy guy on the other end. i want lap dances too… otherwise why would i be there?? – there are some girls that are god damn hard core. i’m afraid of you… i think men are too… on to what i DO like: – one dollar gets you a lot!!! sit in the front row and slam a dollar down… you can get a WHOLE lot. – porn stars! they have the good ones! – DJ is good. – you can tell that everyone in there has a good time. they keep the crowd entertained. – some of the girls are really, really, talented. you can walk out learning something new!if you’re a female prepare to be exposed if you sit in the front. it’s nothing huge, just wear a nice bra 🙂

19. Went here for the 1st time in over 2 years last Friday. Paid $15 for the 6PM-7PM happy hour fee then walked a couple blocks from here towards Union Square for some dinner and beer at King of Thai. Got some new ladies working the catwalk over here. Mariah Fire was Fire…Mmmm…But yeah, still got some young ladies who hate on folks for sitting in the front row and not tipping which my homeboy got some shit for. Haha…I guess it’s an “unwritten rule” to tip every dancer at least $1 if you’re going to sit in the front row for her show…Haha…But yeah…Place was a lot funner during the 18-20 year old range. DJ still bumpin them dope ass bangin sexin jams though.Minus 1 star for getting gamed by a porn star that I asked out to lunch or dinner over the weekend and never got hit up after she said she’d text me. But oh well, at least I asked her…I hope I wrote my number down right…Haha…Made my weekend though. But damn…I got gamed…Thanks Michelle ;PLOL!youtube.com/watch?v=aUi1…I can’t lie…I’m in love with a stripper (*cough*porn*star*cough*)

20. Waste bitches!!!! These bitches looking for money, money, money, thatz it….

21. this is nice club.

22. A cozy little place to stay at to keep warm and safe from the elements just outside on Market Street. The lighting is dim as you enter. It reminds me of a little church with pew rows in the back and an aisle down the middle leading to the “pulpit” where donations may be left for the “preacher”. Further worship can be done in the “chapel” areas. Restrooms are available in the “nave” front area. Cover is $15-25, cheaper in the afternoon and on weekdays and Sunday, but fewer “nuns” will be around for “confessional”.

23. Warning that this place has gone in the tank. I used to LOVE this place. Great gals, fun times for all. No more. Went there awhile back and was actually warned by one of the dancers that things have changed. Really changed. She talked me out of a private dance and suggested I go to New Century instead. I should have listened to her.So the “new” rules at crazy horse have changed from $100 for three songs, do what you want (re. rub one off) to $120 for three songs and sit on your hands. Oh, you want to play a bit? Start tacking on dollars to do that. Sorry, the $120 is for the house so you now need to pay the gals on top of that to do so much as to drop a zipper.I had Marissa and it was just a tad above bad phone sex. Very mechanical and phony. I could have been behind a two way mirror and it would have felt the same. What a waste of good cash.Shame on you Crazy Horse. Price increases I get in these times, but keep it consistent. New Century here I…er…cum!

24. I’m not too impressed by this place. I came here for a friend’s birthday on a friday night, and the women weren’t too particularly pretty, and they kept trying to forcefully push themselves onto you for lap dances. The place is very well lit so you can see clearly the women and the dancing. But it’s $20 to get in, which is ridiculous, and the ATM in there charges $6 per transaction. The stage dancing is less than 5 minutes and there’s a 20 minute gap between performances. There are better places out there, and the area is very sketchy as there are many pimps and hookers roaming the area. Go somewhere else, I think I contracted herpes by just entering the place.

26. This place is awesome when you randomly go to San Fransisco and you stop by this place and just by coincidence there’s a porn star performing that night. This is the other strip club i have ever been to and i think its a million times better than the kit kat just because its contact. The strippers are pretty nice they ask where I’m from what do i work for or where i live at. Some are pushy and want to make a quick 100$. There was a stripper that said i was nice and wasn’t too rough haha. I remember when the place was getting packed there was some idiot wearing 3d glasses and the two strippers stopped and laughed at him. Pretty embarrassing. The plus about this place is that you can come in and out. I usually go watch for a few hours leave and shop then come back then head back to Santa Clara.

27. I like this place a lot. Lots of different girls….not bitchy….big main stage. Good clean fun….we’ve had a bachelor party here…and just been here to relieve stress with co-workers. Only knock (this applies to all strip clubs) the cheap bastards in the front taking up the good seats that don’t know how to tip. Also, the girls that don’t realize that those guys that don’t tip aren’t gonna tip. Hint: this is a business right? Go to the guys throwing out money.

28. My mom will be in shock if she reads this review. My dad will probably say, “that a girl!”One of my girlfriends came up with the idea of a girls night out to visit a “gentlemen’s club”. One of my guy friends suggested this club for having a high ratio of good looking ladies so that’s where we ended up on a recent weekend night.My friend was right; the ladies here are friendly, playful and hot. One of the dancers stepped down from the stage to rub her soft boobies against my friend’s and even tried to entice us to join her on stage. None of us did so but I’m sure the thought of a little girl-on-girl action onstage had some of the “gentlemen” in attendance breathing heavily. When another dancer sat down in front of us and spread her legs to give us a peek at her pubes, I actually felt the hot breath of one of the guys sitting behind us breathing on my neck. Yep, that guy was nasty! Adult star Jenna Haze was the special guest on the night we went and she was incredible.Most of the ladies here work on tips and one was friendly enough to accept our offer to buy a private group dance for all of us. Normally they offer semi-nude and fully nude lap dances and private shows for individual guests. I don’t think I would ever be comfortable going here with a guy, but I would definitely consider an occasional visit with my fun-loving girlfriends.Honest, Mom, this was the first time I’ve visited a strip club!

29. Do not go here at all!!! STAY AWAY I would give this place 0 stars if I could So me and my buddies head down to the bay to have some fun and came across this “strip club”Let me start by saying just to get in it is $26 . So we went in and it’s like a theatre setting with a stage right in front going to the middle of the room The whole 3 hours we were there not once did any of the girls came up to us to offer us a dance. This itself makes the place deserve 0 STARS. it would take almost 30 minutes for a girl to get up on stage and let me tell you half the time it was the SAME girl. When a girl did go up on stage she did not dance at all they would just move and slide across the carpet without any emotions , also they did not use the strip pole at all!!! So basically the whole time we were there it was just a room full of dudes. There was maybe just 7 girls working that night All the girls were giving private dances for like the whole time we were there I had to physically get up and ask for a dance and when I did I was baffled by the prices that the strippers gave me . This isn’t a strip club in Las Vegas it’s SF in a shady part of Market street Overall I regret going to this “strip club” and will definitely not come back and will not recommend this place to anyone !! WORST STRIP CLUB EVER

30. We went here last Friday as part of a friend’s Bachelorette party. The girls here are super beautiful and deserve 5 stars alone, but I think the club set up could be better. The poorly designed theater-like rows of seats give this place a pretty creepy vibe and rob the girls of receiving better money. Would be better if there were small tables and chairs instead so you could talk to the girls, like maybe to arrange a private dance or something, even if you’re not on the end of the row. I understand they may be limited since it IS such a small venue. Also, there were plenty of people sitting RIGHT by the stage and NOT tipping. Wtf. If you sit up front, you tip or you move the fuck out of the way so other parties, aware of club ettiquette, can move up and tip. Really though, the girls alone are worth going back, but other clubs definitely have a better, more energetic environment.

31. to long it in white how responsibility of Tramadolor fact determine, , kvzvx,

32. I give it 3 stars cuz i came here wit my bf it was his first time in the club and I wanted sum strippers to come to him and they didn’t 🙁 like if a couple comes to as strip together it’s for both not just 1 partner . I girls Wud just talk to me and that’s it . I was disappointed but it’s whatever I hope next time they atlest dance next to him lol

33. After a night of heavy drinking and watching the bday boy get denied by every woman at the bar, we decided to make a stop at the crazy horse. I must say, this part of Market St has improved quite a bit. There’s still trash on the sidewalk, homeless people, and a handful of drug dealers near by, but overall I felt safe! The street was well lit at night, and at no point was I worried about getting robbed.So the cover was $25, rip off, but whatever it is what it is. The men’s room was cramped, but looked pretty clean, and there isn’t a restroom attendent in there handing you paper towels guilting you into tips. A huge plus for me because I enjoy frequent trips to the bathroom whenever I frequent a strip club in order to wash my hands. Your hands can never be clean enough in these places. The girls were surprisingly decent. I was expecting some real dogs, but overall I would say the selection was above average. There were about a dozen or so girls that night, I would say they ranged from 6-8. No jaw dropping talent, but no eye bleach was necessary either. None of the girls that approached us were particularly skilled in the art of seduction, or conversation for that matter. ‘Ready for a dance?’ is the official greeting here. No real stage show, just a bunch of naked girls walking on the stage to some god awful music. If I wasn’t drunk, I probably would have been depressed as hell being there. 20 bucks for a fully clothed lap dance, avoid this. You’re better off sitting by the stage and tipping the girl 5 dollars and she’ll give you a lap dance right there. 120 for the private show. All dances use these machines you feed your money into. Weird. Dances were ‘high mileage’. Google that if you don’t know what it means. There are tissue dispensers in the booths if you really are that dense. This isn’t the type of club for a bachelor party. It’s small, the place feels real cheap, and when you see the patrons that frequent this joint, it’s depressing. A lot of middle aged men, wearing sweats, and shorts, I think it’s pretty obvious what they’re there for. I can’t believe I’m saying this, but, this place is way too well lit. It really NEEDS to be darker. I don’t want to be able to see the expression on another pervert’s face sitting across the damn room. It creeps me the hell out. This place definitely falls in the category of I need to immediately shower when I get home and wash what I was wearing in a separate load.

34. For my first review of the Bay area….STRIP CLUB!!I had an awesome fun night here. It’s kind of in a seedy area and the cover is pretty steep for girls, but it is an all nude strip club (which means no alcohol). Cover for men is $25, for women $20. Bring lots of ones and sit near the middle of the strip for some good action. I think there’s also an art of how and when to tip the girls for maximum action, but I have not learned that yet.There are many hotties here that know how to roll around on the strip. They know how to work every angle of their body.One con: There is one girl…I think her name was “Angeline”. She was hustling tips on the stage, literally making every guy put out a few dollars, tapping on the strip in front of them until they gave in and tipped. She’d go down and bother every one of them and just sit there until they tipped. I know they are working for money, but it’s unattractive when it’s such a harsh exchange. Next time if I hear her name, I’ll probably move to the second row. Have fun 🙂

35. Dont go to crazy horse on broadway. There is no space. There is theatre style seating, so on Fri Sat nights you have to climb over guys’ boners to get a seat. What good is that, you’re usually too far to reach the stage and if you get a lap dance then you gotta climb back over the same boners. I had more contact with other customers than with the girls.

36. kinda sleezy. dirty and stinky.

37. ok this review comes from a visit when I turned 18 (the year was 2000).I had an F’in blast. I got free lap dances, pulled up on stage by every dancer, and got some tongue from the almighty Teri Wiegler (old school porn fans know who I am talking about). Won the pretend f_ck contest and left with this puerto rican girls nightie. hmmmm memories how they sure do last.

38. I love strip clubs, like LOOOOVE them. So of course I wanted to spend my birthday in a strip club. Along I went to Crazy Horse with my best friend. I was a little weirded out by the setup of the place- I’ve never seen a club with a “runway” surrounded by rows of movie theater style seats. I thought it kind of sucked because it’s hard to get to your seat. You have to squeeze by all these people. Also, you’re forced to be squished in with all these creepy guys. Some guy behind me tapped my shoulder and said something completely inappropriate and it pissed me off. So I definitely don’t recommend it for people who need space.It’s also unfortunate that there are only a few seats where you can watch the dancers perform on the pole up close. Otherwise, you’re just watching them strut around and collect tips on the runway (which isn’t bad, just not as interesting).As for the girls, they’re hot, they’re mainstream, tanned, whatever. Not much variety though. I mean, I like tiny skinny girls as much as the next person, but with too many of them in a row I get bored. Come on now! I like booty! There was this one fine ass girl with gorgeous tits who I was tipping for a while. She pulled me up on stage (I should have known it was coming) and started to rip my clothes off amid hoots and cheers and I started to panic! I mean, before I knew it I was topless and she was asking me to go on the pole! WTF? So I said no but let me bury my face in your tits first. That was fun hehe. Thankfully she let me go and didn’t rip my pants off. My bad for sitting in the front row. I hope it made her some tips.I wanted to get a lap dance but my friend just wanted to leave. The place was creeping her out (I don’t blame her). So I’ll have to go back another time! Hopefully it’ll be less uncomfortable!

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    Ok….so I heard all the hype and I had some free time. I checked it out and all I have to say is….what a RIP! $25 to get into an old, sleazy nudie bar. Then, not one hot girl in the place. I know I probably went earlier than most (7:30pm on a Thursday), but there could have been a better selection considering there was a shift change at 7. Overall, I am not a cheap ass. I came in with $300 willing to have some fun. But the selection wasn’t there and the vibe was wrong.If I ever go back, it will be after 10pm on a Friday or Saturday.

40. $19 bottomless mimosas at brunch on weekends

41. I never spent much time at Crazy Horse, due to the close proximity of the Broadway Strip in relation to my ex-employer. Nevertheless, Crazy Horse has become my new favorite club in San Francisco. The club is easily accessible off Market Street and parking is never an issue. The neighborhood isn’t the greatest, but as long you don’t leave valuables in sight and lock up, you should be fine.The club itself has a cover that varies and goes up to $25 after 7p.m. The cover might seem pricey but is well worth it, especially considering the girls and the laid back vibe of the club. The club is alcohol free and has a vending machine with soft drinks and energy drinks ($3). If you’re in desperate need of booze or a quick bite, sixth street is one block down and can serve your needs with a few liquor shops and Chico’s Pizza.The club itself is rundown and needs a good remodel, but times are tight and the club does well with what it has. The club is privately owned and not part of the Deja Vu monopoly. The club has a central room with a catwalk that houses one dancer at a time. The club resembles an old movie house and more than likely showed smut at one time or another, as evident by the old dingy movie theater seats.The catwalk is the center of attention and has a few rows of seating that go along the stage. If you’re in the mood for some fun, grab yourself a seat and plenty of ones. The difference between this club and Deja Vu owned clubs are the attitude of the girls. Unlike many other clubs, the girls at Crazy Horse have fun with their [tipping] customers and aren’t as prude as the girls on Broadway. However, tipping is key if you want to enjoy yourself.The dances are your standard prices, with a lap dance going for $20, a topless lap dance for $40 and VIP for $100, which I believe is three songs, but uncertain. All lap dances are done in the adjacent room except for VIP, which can be worth your time and money, as your mileage may vary depending on the girl. Nevertheless, the lap dances are some of the best I’ve had in San Francisco and are significantly better than what you’ll fine on the Broadway Strip.The club has a variety of girls but has an abundance of Asian and white girls. On a typical Saturday night, you can expect to see at least 20 or so girls working the club. I give kudos to the girls for being anti-aggressive in trying to sell lap dances. A simple decline and rest assure that she won’t ask again. Lastly, I give major credit to Crazy Horse for bringing some of the biggest names in Adult to San Francisco for feature shows. Most recently, I’ve had the pleasure of seeing Isis Taylor and Jessica Bangkok perform their feature shows in December and January. If you’re a strip club connoisseur like myself and have neglected this downtown gem, do yourself a favor and get down there.Crazy Horse Pricing Structure:Cover: Varies ($15-25)Between 1pm and 6pm, admission is $20 for all day admission.After 7pm, admission is $25; also good for the rest of the evening.Happy Hour is from noon – 1pm and 6pm-7pm. Happy Hour is $15 for all day admission.Customers may come and go as they please, presenting ticket and hand stamp upon returning (same day only).Ladies receive a $5 discount at the door during regular admission hours.Lap Dances:Bikini Dance: $20Topless Dance: $40VIP Dance: $100 (Three Songs?)

42. I know why guys like this place. Well, some guys. Me and my buds go to strip clubs to goof off, get silly with the girls, and have a good time. This is not that kind of place. This is much, much different. First of all, seats (old metal theater seats) are around the small stage shaped in a U shape. Guys sit far away and gawk until a girl they like comes up, then they run up, tip the crap out of her, and make some promises for the lap dance/VIP room and are never seen again. It is all nude. The girls I would rate at between a 2 and a 8. Some were just hard to watch. Me who enjoys the twirl of a talented pole dancer will be disappointed because these girls just walk a few times and they lay on their back beckoning for tippers. Guys gave me the creeps, no audience interaction except whispers between friends. No alcohol. Can’t understand the DJ. At least that was funny. My recommendation: Unless you want the KNEE JERK, and you know what I mean, go to Condor or other topless bar where you can have some fun.

43. Ok, let me preface this by saying I’m not a strip club guy. But when I do go I at least want my stripper’s to smell like vanilla. Is that too much to ask? This place is Nasty with a capital N (and not in a good way)

44. This is a great club. You get alot of action from the ladies. There are always new features that come in like last week Tera Patrick came and did a show and a couple weeks before that Nautica Thorn came in. The girls are really pretty. Make sure u get a dance from Jenna she’ll rock your world

45. Have gone to crazy horse a few times. Wonderful place. there are some great women there. Mallory comes to mind as a huge attraction. She has great energy and one of the best shows I have ever seen. Have not seen her on the schedule lately however.

46. It’s alright. Maybe I was spoiled by Vegas clubs my first time, but this was average. Theater style seating isn’t all that comfortable. The girls were mostly pretty cute, some were pushy. Only two of 8 had good personality and energy to them. The worst part of this place is the wait time between dancers! Usually waiting 3-7 minutes, get them out there back to back and I’d be way more happy. The dances are a bit overpriced as well. I’d be more willing to pay 25. Overall I might come back, but I’ll look elsewhere first.

47. WARNING. The following review contains sexually explicit material, vile nudity and is not suitable for children.For my little “brother’s” 18th birthday (he’s an old family friend), I wanted to give me the best gift any “sister” could give him…. his face in the middle of some girls boobies: MOTORBOAT!. (They smell really good)There I am, like a demonic soccer mom shuffling 5 of his friends and a few of my girl friends over to crazy horse. I make sure everyone is nice and shitfaced (man, I am going to make a great mother) and stuff fifty singles in his pocket. A girl there will do A LOT for a pyramid containing $6. Everything is going great until I mention to one of the skankier hook….. er I mean ladies… that it’s his birthday. This is where it takes a turn for the worse… and I’m thinking “how much worse can it get after the “toy” show?”She drags his ass on stage…. pulls his pants down, rubs all over him with *CENSORED*. All in good fun. We’re all laughing. Then she has him get on all fours and *CENSORED* like a horse!!! This is where I stand up and start shouting…. “FOR THE LOVE OF GOD! HE’S JUST A CHILD!!”…. which only eggs her on further. Then *CENSORED**CENSORED**CENSORED*. For a minute, I go black … enter my happy place, when I re-open my eyes, poor little Kenny is lying down on the STD petri dish that is the “stage”… she walks up to his face, panties off and *CENSORED**CENSORED**CENSORED**CENSORED**CENSORED**CENSORED**CENSORED**CENSORED* into his mouth!!!!!!!!!NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!On the way home, I gently rocked him in my arms and sang “Oooohhh, child, things are going to get easier. Oooohhh, child, thing’s will get brighter”I’m into some kinky shit myself but I’ll have to pay for therapy for the both of us after that night.

48. Best in the West! What happened to Asian Jessica that used to dance her? kinda thick, pale skin, Pink Poodle before.

49. I want to recommend Kourtney from Chico I WAS SATISFIED I can’t get enough Kourtney smooth as silk skin, soft to the touch gentle yet shaped very fine escort.drug free beautiful healthy leaves u with feeling of utmost satisfaction U will hate to see her go.

50. This is probably the best club I have ever been to. It really does hold up to its reputation as one of the best adult entertainment sites in California. It’s a very spacious club with some extremely attractive dancers. The prices are a bit high, but to be honest, I think its worth it. I’m not big into strip clubs, but many of my friends have been to ones in Vegas and the prices they mentioned were through the roof. I think you can essentially do everything you would do in a Vegas club out here at the CH. Me and a few of my friends were in the city a few weekends ago and we had some friends with us from the East Coast. After hitting up the bars, my out of state friends were curious about the infamous strip clubs in the city. We decided to hit up the CH around 3am and it was a great time! I believe my lap dances were from Riley and Dana (maybe Diana? Not sure). The girls were extremely talkative and did a great job of not making you feel awkward, as I often think strip club experiences can be. I highly recommend Riley! Shes a very petite and cute dancer. I think, unless you are completely against strip clubs, everyone should give the Crazy Horse a chance. I don’t think you’ll be disappointed!

51. Went there to see featured performer, London Keyes and she did not disappoint! Staff is top notch all around, very attentive to us, even got a free t shirt on the way out. Dancers for the most part are gorgeous, much higher caliber than SJ (sorry homies). Minus one half star for some of the less fortunate looking ladies and another half star for the bathroom lock that was messed up. Club is definitely female friendly. Will be back. Thumbs up! Note: when they say no cell phones they mean it. Keep it put away or go in the lobby to use it. Don’t be a douche and get busted (like me).

52. I dragged a friend there while we were traveling (from Australia. We had an awesome night… very impressed by the quality of the girls and the shows. The private dances were great value. We still talk about this place.

53. Minus 1 star for the $20 cover. If I show up with 2 guys I don’t expect to have to pay damn near the same price they do. I’ve never paid that much to look at boobs but since it was my friend’s birthday….whatever. At least I got a free water, right? Heh.I like the theater style layout of the place but the girls were all pretty meh to me and the breaks between sets were way too long. Only one chick out of all of them was really cute in the face to me, and none of them had much body. Security was tight though and they don’t play around with their no cell policy.While I did enjoy myself overall, I would probably only go back for a special occasion.

54. First of all, really gross in there. Felt like I might get a disease from sitting on the seat.Secondly, three song breaks between girls. *yawn* Thirdly, they almost wouldn’t let one of us in, because they had on Day of the Dead styled makeup (was a hot girl… it was Folsom weekend).Lastly the girls were NOT attractive. Gross.THERE IS ONE ATTRACTIVE GIRL. Her name is Adrianna. Go find her. Shield your eyes from the tragedies there, like horse blinders, with your hands, and walk straight to her. She will take all the bad away. And if she’s not working, I suggest avoiding this place like the plague.

55. This crazy horse was fun. I had a good time even though I was completely sober. Note to self: come drunk next time. Damn california law!It was a little steep for the lap dances and private sessions but It was worth it. The girls here love to have fun. Props to my ladies at SF Crazy Horse!

56. Pretty sleazy, I wouldn’t go back. Jacked up ATM that reverted to Spanish only and then automatically withdrew money (twice) giving me tons of extra fees, $6 per transaction. Overpriced for dances etc

57. drug Ultracet opioid road system nto in destination tramadol, , :[, , jvwwxk, , >:(,

    I had a drunken blast today. Drinking prior to coming here though because they don’t serve alcohol. This is a fully nude joint and is 18 and over. I haven’t been to a strip joint in years! They had beautiful women here tonight for the most part. There were a few strays but overall they looked good.I arrived here with a few friends tonight at around 11 PM or so. We ended up leaving at 3 AM. Pretty much when they close! I must have went through $80 worth of ones! It was well worth it because the strippers were having fun with me and my baseball cap! Also my boy scored a stripper’s number tonight which is pretty pimp! He must have gotten pimp status from me! Fun times!

58. Not Worth to brag about. All I gotta say is wowI came here when I was 16. Dayumn I loved me the Filipina Stripper “Paradise” She ripped my thong right outta my ass and squirted lotion (then you use your imagination)LMAOWOW!!!!!

59. Very very bad ! I visited San Franscisco to a friends place and we went to this club. Not a good experience. very grouse, extremely expensive, all arrogant bad looking girls(rather I should say 40+ women). As soon as they get the money, they will forget what they promised. I paid 100 bucks for VIP treatment, but she was not doing what she talked about, so I asked her to stop the dance and talked to the manager. The manager didnt hear my complaint, so I just left the place due to their lack of courtesy to the customers. Will never go back again to this club again.

60. My favorite! It’s one if the best strip clubs I’ve ever been to. I came here for my buddies bachelor party on an off night and wow, impressive! Those girls sure earned their money! Most of the girls were pretty fine. They ALL put on a hell of a show. If you’re a gentleman they will be very lax with you.I sat in the front row and kept making it rain. I had beaver 2 inches from my face all night. God it was fun! My friends said i looked like the happiest little kid on earth when i was motorboating a nice pair…. Sheesh. Never had so much fun NOT having sex haha.I felt like i was going to have a heart attack. They did their job. We walked away broke and under a spell.Things to know; these girls hustle lap dances HARD but they are a little overpriced. It’s fully nude and there is No alcohol here. Always bring a good wingman that’s fun to be around and outgoing. Oh, and be prepared to spend money. Shiestiness won’t get you anywhere at places like this.Good luck ;D

61. we went back last night. i had the best time AGAIN! there were so many more couples this time.. The place was packed! And Marrissa and Ellas show was my favorite. the girls were alot friendlier with the couples too! _________________they get 5 stars.. only because of the girl that gave us a lap dance.. fully nude! (totally worth the $100 for 10min) My husband and I went in on a Friday. The girls stayed away…they tend not to come near if your with ur husband. Though all the girls are very friendly.. they kinda wink and smile,but just stayed away. I didn’t want to leave without getting us a lap dance. No offense to the rest of the girls.. but there was only one girl that had the size that we like. there was a bachlorette party sitting right next to us (seating is like a movie theater) all the girls were soooo friendly to the girls in the party… they were not stuck up or anything.. some of the “lady workers” even gave the soon to be bride free lap dances.. and peek&feel dances!! bottom line: if your a couple(man and women)…. and you want some fun.. then you really gotta let them know you OK with it.. or else they will not even come near u..

62. worst strip club I ever been to .. always they have ugly girls and dirty smell … and they ask for too much tip for nothing .. and the manager is so rude. .. I never come back again ….

63. I came here on my 18th birthday and nothing cool happened. Pornstar Jenna James was here though. Anyway strippers ignored me all night despite my money. I asked for a private dance and one stripper said its 140. Yea lol. Fuck this place. Its in the ghetto and my friend and I got jacked over 20 dollars of cocaine outside the club. Not to mention its filled with 40 year old Asian creeps.

64. Absolutely best club in SF! I like the full nude FULL CONTACT aspect and super friendly staff!! Love how the girls don’t hassle you for dances and let you take your time! Make sure you drink up before you come though because they don’t serve alcohol, they only serve women . But you’re guaranteed to have an amazing time while you are here. OH and make sure you get a dance from this super sexy Asian named Mika! Omg dude talk about an experience! Or if you want a sexy tall Asian… Can’t go wrong with Nikita!

65. The indian girl TAJ is a horrible, rude bitch. All the other girls are nice. There is a Swedish girl, who is awesome. In general, all the girls are good. You will get what you pay for.

66. Ok this place gets 0 stars. They are the rudest people you could meet. They guy up front refused to let any girls in. What is that about? He told my friend she had too much cleavage to be in there and I don’t have room there. I don’t need a strip club I was going there for fun and it is their loss and their sausage fest.

67. For a club, this is as good as it gets. A lot of personal attention from Jasmine and Tiffany.. The girls keep everything entertaining and leave you with a smile. They are hot as well as having sweet personalities.

69. Great spot for a bachelor party best bang for your buck and the best part is not owned by Deja Vu.

70. So I had a dance from Mika, HOLY CRAP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! She is completely amazing and so damn hot and fun. If u get a dance from only 1 dancer, she is the one. Hands down, bar none.Also they had a feature dancer, a porn star Kenna James. She is super hot, to be expected but what wasn’t was she got the reference on my t-shirt and we had a 45 second conversation while she was on the main stage. I now have a new favorite Porn Star

71. yDUyKr Enjoyed every bit of your blog article. Keep writing.

72. DallasULTRAM to trouble as pharmacist the to of forand Washington uterine all prices, , 932,

73. One of my girlfriends and I were at her house, hanging out and eating cheesecake and being mopey. We eventually decided we wanted to have a “girl’s night out with classy cocktails” evening. What follows is how a classy, fancy cocktail evening at 10pm on a Wednesday might typically go for me:We leave the apartment, and get about four storefronts down, whereupon one of the bartenders in the place we pass by loudly yells out my friend’s name through the open door, and we reluctantly go in to explain we’re off to, like, the Orbit Room or something. He gives us a couple free drinks (with our caveat that they have to be -fancy- drinks, so as to fit in with the evening), and we hang out for a hot minute. Since there are strip poles in the bar (kinda for looks), the topic of dancers comes up, and my friend perks up, “We should go see strippers.” Our bartender friend looks around, and after a moment of debate — he hasn’t been to a strip club in months — we convince him to just *shut down the bar*, and get in a taxi with us. We have another drink while the place is cleaned up, do a shot, and then run outside to a cab. This time, we opted for the Crazy Horse rather than North Beach, since it’s a bit closer. I’d never been to the Crazy Horse before, either, and I always love new places.My friend was thinking about dancing there, so she got in for free since she was checking the place out. I and our (male) bartender friend got reduced entry, to $30 for both of us (instead of $50), which at first I was kinda sour about, but… oh my god. One of the things I lament about San Francisco strip clubs is that the girls aren’t usually my type. I didn’t expect this to be much different, since it was like, y’know, midnight on a Wednesday, but wow.Vitals:The place is 18+, so there’s no drinks, and their ATM is a $6 fee.It’s laid out in movie theatre-style seating around the main stage, which extends into a runway, so it’s a bit cozy, but whatever.Most of the girls come out, do a brief stint on the pole that’s not by the seating, and then it’s all floorwork for two songs.The girls are HOT. There were a few I was a bit lukewarm for (why would you dance and not even have your *nails* done?), but oh my god. The first girl seemed really into me in particular, which was nice, grinding down in my lap and rubbing against me and things, and I tried to be a mostly good girl and not touch her, because I guess I just *didn’t know any better*. I say this because the -second- girl who came out climbed into my lap, pulled my dress off over my head, and then yanked me on stage stripped down to my heels and (arguably kinda lame) panties. Uh, okay!A similar thing happened to my friend, who, also being a dancer, stayed up there and did some floor work with the girl who pulled her up, which was kinda hot. Most of the girls seemed into other women, which makes me happy, but nothing — nothing — sticks with me as much as Gianna. No offense to the other girls (especially the really, really hot black girl — Baby, I think?), but there was not a *thing* on her body that wasn’t perfect. She was repeatedly checking herself out in the mirrored walls, and honestly, if I looked like her, I would be, too. There are *so* few dancers in San Francisco that look like her (or, frankly, most of the girls in here), which is a major plus.I’ll be back. Even if they do charge girls a cover. And I’ll wear cuter underwear next time.UPDATE:Wore cuter underwear. Got pulled on stage approximately 2.5 times more frequently.

74. This is an awesomely seedy little place where I’ve watched my favorite porn stars (charmane star & kira kener to name a few) strut their shit on the red carpeted “runway.” They put on really high energy shows, the crowd gets riled up & loud & it’s such a (pleasant/fun) change from when it’s just regular girls on stage & the audience is pretty quiet. Featured girls put on shows like 3 times a night (9pm, 11pm & 1am.)This is one of the few places where the girl are fully nude (no pasties) and they give tons of audience interaction. Most of the girls are pretty hot & very talented with their pole skills. If I’m gonna pay a $20 cover charge, I better see some reverse helicopter type of stuff happening on that pole!If you’re looking for more upscale, go to Hustler. Crazy Horse is a lot more laid back, casual & “hole in wall-ish.” The dancers are usually friendly (as opposed to other clubs where the girls are angry, snobby & defensive.) P.S. They don’t serve alcohol here. I think it has to do with SF not being able to mix fully butt nekkid girls with alcohol or something like that… All in all, good times.

75. I’m the type of girl that loves to have fun with my friends on a nice night in the city. My friends and I go here spontaneously and I’ve only been here a couple of times and I must say that I’ve enoyed it. The girls aren’t so pretty but do have bodies that can really climb and work that pole in the center of the stage. I bought my girlfriend a lapdance and she enjoyed it. And the girls that do perform do know how to move their hips! I recommend it for those that aren’t 21 yet. Girls are fully nude and the set-up is good.

76. This is probably the WORST strip club I have ever been to! It is an 18+ strip club, there is a $25 entrance fee for men and $20 entrance fee for women. Once you step into the main club, you will understand what the word ‘sleazy’ means. The “women” are not only strippers, ask for a private room (which would be $120) and you have yourself a private prostitute, and trust me, they know what they are doing. But definitely not worth the price they ask. Ask to get a lap dance, and you have already lost $40 for one song. What’s worse? The prostitutes here aren’t even worth it. Go somewhere else if you are looking for quality as well as customer service. As soon as you enter the building every staff member will try to read you, to see if you’re one of the many poor bastards who will spend up to 2 grand on one of these sex workers. You can watch porn for free online or spend up to $100 just to feel up on some not-so-hot piece of meat. RULES:1) If you go with friends, make sure you STICK TOGETHER. The bouncers (pimps) will not let you talk to your friends if they are in the middle of conversation with one of the dancers (Whores). Sometimes they will deliberately separate one friend from the group with an excuse such as “oh you didnt pay” and allow one of their whores to seduce you into their tease trap.2) It’s cash only to enter, but they allow the use of credit/debit once you have yourself a dancer. Remember, these clubs only want your money!3) Bring singles only, the ladies here do not know what they are doing and only deserve $5 tops.4) Avoid this hellhole if you can, trust me, ANYWHERE ELSE IS BETTER AND USE THIS AS A LAST RESORT

77. There is a fucking indian gal named TAJ. Please dont go to her. She is pathetic.

78. first time here and it looks run down… got there at 130am… the guy was like for you $10 im like what the hell, there less then 30 minutes left… so the girls and birthday boy got inside free but the guys all paid $10 each… so we walk inside, look like one of them old movie theaters… we manange to see two dancer and that was it… plus birthday boy got tshirt, dvd and a pen… woot hoot!

79. I thought this place was going to be big but it just had a long stage which was probably infested with tiny microscopic crabs or something and two poles? which is probably high as the firemans pole at the station… Ran into my cousin who got pulled on stage with her bestfriend and bf didn’t see them get pulled on stage because he was getting water for them. stripper tried to get them naked and after all that some random guy tipped my bestfriend cousin a 20… lol… Girls were better.. compared to Gold Club…

80. This club is totally useless, Ugly dancers and a waste of time

81. ok, ok, ok I don’t go to a naked dancing club every night but the night I went here was the devil’s delight!The girls were all totally nude and sexy sexy sexy! I know it’s a show but I love it! When I got my lap dance at Crazy Horse the girl was sweet and she was a turn on. I didn’t go to the private booths because I’m scared what might happen in those hidden places.This place ain’t cheap but it is a sexy, rockin’ time!

82. Best strip club in the bay area. They have hot dancers. They regularly have performances by stars, whom you can watch, then get an autograph or picture with afterwards. Only bad thing is this place is right in the tenderloin so at night, it can be a sketchy dangerous area.

83. enjoy the show

84. cod the brain narcotics the linksuntenwould Your that injection Hcl, , hpw,

85. Ok I’ve been to enough strip clubs to get the gist of em. Go in, hang out, have an ok time. Yet how in gods name did whatever just happen JUST HAPPEN?I’m sure that Crazy Horse is actually really good. I believe in the people who take their time and write these reviews. But maybe, JUST MAYBE I got duped by the wrong dancer. Let’s begin with what is on record as the shortest stay yet almost most expensive experience at a strip club in my 10 years of going to them. Show up, $25 as an entrance fee. I cringe but it’s fine. I believe in paying what you get for. Go through the hallway and it’s basically a renovated theater where they used have Cat Fashion shows. Disappointing. I find a seat near the stage where no one is dancing. Whatever, I can’t even bring out my phone to check messages with the crazy NO PHONE policy. So I’m sitting there and here comes a very pretty, very fast talking dancer. I needed to get out of that boring theater area so I take up her offer. When I go to strip clubs I can usually have a clear and concise convo with whoever is I there. With this one you can’t get a word in before she is telling you what to do. It’s clearly my fault for just going with the flow obviously. She takes me to the $100 rooms. I’m usually a frequent visitor at the VIP areas so I knew what shoulda happened. I say shoulda cause obvs it didn’t happen. CORRECTION: NOTHING HAPPENED. I paid that weird machine my $100 and as soon as we get in the booth she’s telling me to “tip” her money. Ummm, I just dropped $100 so that should cover a $100 dance. WRONG. I give her a $20 and still nothing. All the while I’m wondering where the fuck my dance is, she’s passive-aggressively making me withdraw more money. Whatever, $125 total spent already I wanted to see what I’d get with another $80. So I withdraw another $80(!!!) and she takes me back to the room. I give her the $80 and berates me for not giving her more. Then proceeds to give me THE SHITTIEST LAP DANCE I’VE EVER HAD. BAR NONE, WORST. $205 on nothing all the while making me seem like I’m the bad guy for not dropping $1K on her janky ass. She finishes quickly and bolt out of there. I told her that LA would give me a full nude lap dance for $40 and continues to berate me. WTF. Seriously. Again, I’m not blameless here, I went with the flow. But really, for $205, I should have gotten more. It was ridiculous as fuck and has soured me on this particular club. You guys can go back but honestly it’s not worth the passive aggressive S&M play.

86. I’ve been here a few times randomly, both on weekends and weekdays, but I’ve never been impressed by the dancers. They either look like they just had a kid or they are obviously on drugs. They don’t smile, they don’t do tricks – it’s just a depressingly dark place with ehh girls and creepy, sweaty old asian men everywhere.

87. Not worth it at all. If you want to spend $20 for a 1 minute dance and not even a full song this is your place. A lot of the girls there are rude and will drag you to the back asking for money. Never coming back.

88. Guys, I really really really recommend this place!! It was my first time going to a strip club here in America and this was definitely an excellent choice!! The staffs are friendly, they give free water (lol), clean bathrooms (as far as I can remember), ambiance is so freakin nice, and most importantly… ALL the LADIES are BEAUTIFUL! I seriously cannot wait to come back here with my friends!! And freakin HEIDI smells so fckin good man!!Oh!! And also, you guys gotta drink before coming in here. They strictly don’t serve alcohol.

89. I’ve been to a good number of strip clubs ranging from Portland to LA and always managed to have some fun. Crazy Horse on the other hand…Should be called Crazy BULL cause my first experience here was just complete BS. Seemed like for every 1 hot woman that was a “10”, there were 2 mediocre women that ranged from a “7” to even a “4”, which leaves you begging the question “why does she work here?!”. Don’t get me wrong, I respect women of all physical appearances and judge people by personality in the real world, but in a strip club I think it’s fair game to be a complete superficial prick cause we sure as hell are not paying them to file our income taxes or paint our fences. There’s also a ridiculous entrance fee in the double digits. At the price they charge you could literally go to a huge rock concert, like a KISS or AC/DC show.The place wasn’t really swarming with strippers either, there was just one dance platform with limited room around it that mostly rich old losers hog up. Otherwise you’re just sitting in the back in some ghetto rundown movie theater type chairs listening to an annoying DJ that must be addicted to the sound of his own voice. A voice that makes nails to a chalkboard sound like Beethoven I might add. Anyways, I tried making the most of the place by accepting the first lapdance in the private room offered by the first “10” that came my way. I don’t know if it was just this girl in particular and I’m being unfair to the club as a whole but the lapdances seemed short and boring. It was a big tease and she must have knew that’s what I was thinking cause she then whispered that she’d do “a lot more” and “longer” if we went to the ATM and repeatedly told me “don’t let my boss know”, almost as if she were hinting on something a little more “interactive”.DO NOT LET THEM GO TO THE ATM WITH YOU. As soon as I entered my pin number the greedy b**ch pressed all the buttons before I could see how much money I had left and grabbed the cash out of the machine. I said to myself “this better be worth it”. Well it wasn’t, all I got was another boring lapdance but 5 minutes this time and an opportunity to make use of the kleenex in the room if you know what I mean. Lame. For half the price you can impregnate a high class escort.I’d rather get drunk with my friends at a semi-nude bar than waste time and money sober at a mediocre fully-nude club. LAME, BORING, EXPENSIVE, OVERRATED, A DUMP are just some of the words that come to mind when I think of Crazy Horse now.

90. I came here a long long time ago with a large group of people and I still freshly remember how grossed out I was. Maybe we just went on a off night. Cause the girls were not hot, except one. I remember one girl seriously looked so sick, she had oily hair and looked so unhealthy. I felt like going up on stage to feed her. And here comes the traumatizing part… one of my guy friends thought it would be funny if I got a lap dance from the Asian woman on stage who was literally 50 years old. When she came near us he put a couple dollars in front of me and before I realized I was getting a lap dance. I still have the image of her dimply butt in my head. I hope I don’t offend any strippers out there. Kudos to you girls, there would be a lot of angry men out there if it weren’t for yall.

91. Decided to come here instead of the usual group around Broadway, where it’s mostly hit or miss. The girls….range from hot to okay. A good mix of white, asian, latino, and other girls, and there are a LOT of girls there. Probably over 25 there when we went, most of the smaller clubs on Broadway have less than have of that. They occasionally have featured performers, usually porn stars, so that is a plus if you’re into that…though chances are if you are here, you are. The price…pretty standard for a fully nude club. The girls know how to work you, so come prepared, or else be suckered in to paying lots of cash for a lap dance from a girl you didn’t like to begin with. Parking will add an up front charge to this place due to it’s location. There’s a lot close by on Mission though, so one isn’t too far away. Big plus for me was the girls aren’t pushy at all when it comes to asking for dances. Most of the ones that approached me understood no meant no, and didn’t try to force the issue. There was one who “showed me around” and afterwards of course tried to push me into a lap dance, but I stonewalled her completely, despite her attractiveness, because I hate dancers that do that. Overall the girls there are nice, and some are really sexy. Definitely recommend this joint over the places on Broadway.

92. The girls that I met were cute and good natured, professional but warm. The chairs are set up in rows like an actual theater, without any tables. So when the dancers “walk to me like you want me” they have to do that sideways scootching move. The sideways scootch is not a sexy walk. The private rooms are very private. The girls are more generous with their charms than their East Coast cousins. Haggling over their sweet spots was entertaining in itself. “Okay, for another $40 I can rub your junk, or you can suck on my nipples, but not both”.

93. Needs to step up their game , ticket is too expensive but the dancers are hot

94. Ok guys and Galz,Thought of visiting this this Club,I think i have made a very bad decision on choosing this club, is was a Sunday night .. and it was lazy kind of feeling in the club. there were only 1 or 2 girls that was @ 10 and other i think i dont need to comment . and to make it worse , there was a 50 + year old lady .. OMG… I was thinking y ppl come here. but any way have to say some girls were good specially when ur up close and tipping them they will come to you and give a good payback for your $$. But I was looking for more and took on the number 10, chick to a VIP. i had a friendly chat with the girl before the thing. It seam that I was not allowed to kiss her LOL, but only allowed to touch her … I’ll be franck. if a guy pays $100 and want get this options … I would call the club not Crazy horse it’s more than Crazy BS … this was the 1st mistake i made after 1o visits on row to other clubs in SF. So guys this is good only fipping ,, or it’s good thing if you dont visit cuz u might have wait till the Dancer shows up in the Danz floor .. there might be a 3-4 mins delay .. this was a major (-) point for me.tc

95. ya this place was alright i went there with my baby daddy on my 18th birthday i was pregnant and it was nice

96. Best first time experience ever. Went tonight with a few of my boys and it was the most legit strip club experience we could have hoped for. World famous Jessica Bangkok was performing live tonight and she was a whole nother level of fun.The girls are sincerely into you if your a good looking guy and I got so much “stuff” for free that I was happy to tip the other girls. A few girls were very persistent about giving dances but it was all in fun. This is the only club I am going to go to from now on. My props to Lisa Marie and Gianna for showing the most love.

97. Crazy Horse is a great place to hang out and relax. The cover charge is affordable and the staff there are cool. Even though this club is not a high end strip club, you will get your money’s worth enjoying the feature shows and lap dances.

98. Dancers here are hit or miss. Some give good service others not so much. The upside is $20 bikini dances they let you touch them all over. The down side is some may think $20 is below them and give you a bad or shortened dance. Staff was professional. Just be smart, dont go for the private $100 to $400 dances. No amount of the stripper rubbing her privates on you is worth that kind of money. Also they have happy hour entree, hey every bit helps.

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100. Damn kicked back with the homies and got some face full of tits and hand full of ass. The Latinas and White girls are fine as fuck. Recommend if you have about $100 to spend.

101. Took my brother here for his birthday. (A Friday Night)The location of the place isn’t that great, but parking isn’t hard to find around the area, considering you’re comfortable enough to park around the neighborhood.The venue looks like it was an old movie theater at first before its owner went bankrupt. The seats are comfy and wide enough. Cover seems high, but lower than other gentlemen’s clubs in the area (to my knowledge). The dancers are nice (well they have to be), most are cute with some who are just gorgeous. My problem with the place is how some of the entertainers approach “customers”. I was in conversation with one of my good buddies when all of a sudden I felt a sharp rub on my shoulder, coming from the entertainer approaching behind me. I jumped to my discomfort and she apoligized. Another time I was having a conversation to a friendly patron to my right and an entertainer rubbed her hands down my chest, from BEHIND me, and whispered deep in my ear and asked if I would like a private dance. Again, I was a little freaked out and she quickly apoligized. Maybe I’m overreacting, but who am I to judge right? If it’s an entertainer’s job to be touchy feely then alright. I just wasn’t comfortable with being approached from behind, especially if I cannot see what she looks like.Also, I felt the DJ wasn’t trying too hard with his job. He would play a song all the way through to the end and you’d have this like 5 second quiet crowd ambience and then he would flip to another track. I guess it gave those receiving private dances more time (I did not receive one) but IMO a DJ should be effectively cutting songs in before songs reached their end to keep the mood going. Sometimes it felt like he was playing straight from a boombox, and at times the music cut out and again, uncomfortable ambient noise. All personal feelings and nit picking aside, this is still a very enjoyable gentlemen’s club to go to. My brother enjoyed his time here, as did I. If you feel like hitting up a gentlemen’s club in the city; compared to others in the area you cannot go wrong here. Just be respectful to the entertainers as some customers were verbally apprehended for crossing the line.NOTE:-Be wary of very old men taking naps in the middle of the club. -Also do not announce that it is your birthday unless you want to have two entertainers pull your underwear right out your pants and crack you with a leather whip. I was griping at every crack of the whip delivered on the man who now needs a new pair of Joe Boxers. Ugh.-Do not wear a fitted cap in there because once the entertainers take it off your head, just imagine what they’re going to do with it.

102. If you can’t beat um, join um. I go with my husband all the time. I know this may not be for everyone to go with their man to these places, but for me it doesn’t bother me. I rate this 4 stars out of the 18 and over nudie bars (the not so classy ones). Like every nudie bar, you get the good, the bad and the uglies.My husband and I go hear when there is a featured porn star that he/we likes. In fact, we went for his birthday one year and he got to meet his fav porn star. He was acting like a little kid in a candy shop. I thought it was hilarious. Of course we took a 8×10 pic w/ her.At first the ladies there are not as agressive to couples, more towards the single men that come in, but if you approach them, they are all for it.It gets boring after awhile…lol…I just go there for the premire show – the porn star’s act. heehee

103. I’m a gay man and I must say I was really aroused by seeing these beatiful ladies. hahaThe women here are so beautiful with amazing bodies. They have skinny women, fit women, thick women, black women, latinas, mix, white, and asian. All that your heart desires. My friends are all straight men and I’m pretty much the token gay guy but they don’t seem to mind. We went here last Friday after a last minute decision from going to the Vietnamese Coffee house in San Jose to The strip clubs in SF… so It was a GUYS NIGHT OUT! This place is 18+. Fridays is $31 dollars entrance fee. 31 is such a random number. (-______-)But i think it allows you to have dollars and fives to tip the strippers. Of course the women were very friendly. They kept coming to us for lap dances. The men in the audiences were pigs and some were drunk. It was definitely weird seeing them drool over these beautiful women. My friend got picked up on the stage by one of the guest strippers. (Jazzy Berlin) Who is supposedly a pornstar… Unzipped his pants… dry Humped him.. and ended by putting her privates in my friends face. My Bro was super stunned. I thought it was hilarious and probably lost 15 dollars worth of ones when she did this… hahahahahaKUDOS to the sexy gigantic bouncer that was making sure that these ladies were safe. Anyways, I feel like this place was pretty fun! I would like to come here with women next time. I wonder if the experience would be different. haha

104. The strippers here cheats people out of money They said 200 for private dance and I didn’t see them again after taking the money

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106. This is the first strip club I’ve ever been to, and it was for my friend’s 18th birthday – the year 2000… sigh, how time flies. My friend said I should review it, so here I am.”I got a whole selection…a whole collection…a ho selection… of my ho collection.”(c)Juelz.We had a gay friend with us, and he ended up tossing coins at one of the nasty looking strippers. He is now a Richmond Police Officer. Yes, be scared.”G-G-G-Get ’em girls!”(c)Killa.Okay, I better wrap up this review because the pics here aren’t exactly work safe.It was $35 when I came here (no orgasm-o), and that was expensive as hell for a college freshman. I’d be scared to see how much entrance is now.

107. God, I keep wanting to wear my Crazy Horse t-shirt one of the girls gave me… But I never get a moment when I feel it won’t raise eyebrows… Darn it!

108. cheap “strip”club. place itself needs a serious renovation. location is obviously an issue. and then there’s the crowd… most of the dancers are not even good looking. there are a few girls that do look good but they don’t know squat about strip dancing. the extras depend on the girl and imho totally not worth it. given what they offer and the prices they ask for, it’s simply rip off. in most parts of europe you get the real deal for half the price,all in all, you might like it here, but that’s probably because you haven’t seen anything better. the only good thing about this place is, as others before me elegantly put it, $1 *might* buy you a lot here.SF does offer much better options if you are willing to drop a couple of hundreds more.

110. Not enough fake tits for me. I like boobs more than ass.1st strip club for me 🙂 I went here on Sat. night with 2 of my gfs, and 2 of my guy friends. Due to my lesbian tendencies, I would have been just fine going with my 2 girlfriends. $20 for girls, $25 for guys, which I think is pretty pricey for girls, but I guess you are paying for the location i mean it is downtown sf, literally 2 blocks away from classy places like louis vuitton && gucci HAHAHA. On to the yummy stuff, They have such a huge variety of girls here !!! I love it !!! There were at least 25 girls, black ones, asian ones, white ones, ahh every type of one!!!most of the girls were kind of flat – chested but its’ ok, I understand most people can not afford to pay $6-$7 grand for pieces of silicon.the lap dances are $20 each, the VIP ones are $100. Some of the girls here are sooo gorgeous. There is this really pretty blond, whom is thin and has straight blond hair, she was probably my favorite one, she was not as wild as the other girls but definitely very sexy, I really enjoyed the way that she moved on the stage. Fully nude, bring lots of ones if you want to ( and probably should) tip the girls. Sit right next to the stage if you want more action, or your not going to be getting any, unless it is the girls coming up next to you and asking if you want a lap dance.All in all, I had a good experience considering that it was my first time at strip club, I cannot wait to check out other ones now.

111. Fucking awesome! Yes. I go to strip clubs, but really though, this is the only one i’ve been too and it’s FANTASTIC! The girls are really nice, and the person at the front register is real polite. Lots of fun, but it’s really just a waste of money. BUT IT’S F-U-N!

112. great place, clean and they don’t hassle you…the girls are the best i’ve seen in any bay area strip club. You can go to other places and be hassled by girls all the time for a dance like “Just leave me alone”…lol…also they have porn stars that come here from time to time and even have these double features shows which are really great as they have 2 girls and they do lots of interesting things together if you know what i mean…haha…really fun place when having a guys night out!

113. My girlfriend & I visited Crazy Horse w/very high hopes based on reviews that we read. There’s not a word for the disappointment we both felt. The place is very outdated. Looks like they hadn’t done anything to it since they opened it. We live in NY…the $20 cover for her & $25 for me wasn’t an issue. What should have been a huge red flag for us was the fact that they didn’t serve alcohol. WHAT?!? A strip club that doesn’t serve alcohol? That’s unheard of. The majority of the good reviews spoke of the beautiful women that worked there. Ummmm did they all decide to take the night off when I visited? I’m a simple man w/simple needs. I pretty much like my strippers to have a ‘plump rump’. The only one that fit that criteria was ‘Dawson’ she was very friendly. I paid $40 for a topless lap dance ($20 for me & $20 for my girlfriend) once again…the price didn’t bother me…but she all but forgot that I was even there & gave all focus to my girlfriend (whom she seemed infatuated with) while we received our ‘not so private’ lap dance I tipped her very well….after the lap dance we went back to the main stage & sat in the 3rd row b/c we weren’t impressed w/the other dancers…one seemed liked a robot who didn’t really give any personal attention to the ppl she danced for…she looked in the mirror the entire time. Another dancer…I couldn’t tell where her back ended & her butt started. Ewwww…another girl looked like she was no older than 16…if you haven’t noticed…I didn’t enjoy myself at all…save yourself time & your precious money & do not enter this place. I can’t wait to go back to NY & enjoy some REAL strip clubs.

114. I’ll be the first to admit that I haven’t been to many strip clubs. This one makes my 3rd, so I am not an expert by any means. But I honestly can’t think of another place I would rather have spent my birthday than here. The reason that I’m giving this such a positive review is simply due to the fact that I met the single most beautiful girl I think I’ve ever seen there. If and when I go back…. I’m going back for one girl only. Mariah. After I came out of the private room, I pretty much lost interest in everyone and everything else going on. Not taking anything away from the other girls at all. I mean, I realize this is just one man’s opinion and I don’t want to build her up so much that people are let down when they actually see her…. but I’m just waiting on some extra cash so I can go back. Regular patrons of strip clubs may have their personal preferences, but if you’re new to the scene and you’re looking for a good place to start…. I very STRONGLY recommend Crazy Horse on a Friday night. It was also my first time going this particular club, so I don’t know what the good nights are… but any night that Mariah is there, is worth a visit. No doubt.

115. My lady and I had the best time there tonight.$15 to get in before 7pm is the best deal.After that,it goes up to 25 for guys and 20 for the ladies.Lots of different girls dancing all night long.Lots of hotties.One of them invited my lady and I to a private room and it did not disappoint.

116. I don’t care what anyone says, this is the spot you need to go to. my favorite club by far. the girls are all fine, and most are thick. they go all out, top & bottom-less. and the dj picks the best music at the best time.