Dancin’ Bare

0 reviews for “Dancin’ Bare”

1. Dancers are cracked out and have 0 moves ! Super sad how bad these Girls life’s must be

2. This place is great! Girls are friendly and not overly aggressive like most clubs. Anyone can come in and feel comfortable just being themselves, hanging out and enjoying the entertainment. The staff is great, quick to serve .. The food is always really good and prices are very reasonable. Some my say it’s a dive bar but really it’s just authentic charm that makes you feel at home. Come in n see for yourself!!

3. Sunday nights are for winding down. Off we go, into the abyss of an oldie but goodie strip joint. There’s been tales of this places from many a lost poor soul. I just had to spend a couple rounds here since it was one of my stops before heading back to Callie. There was about 6 girls working this night. We ordered lots to drink because we were having a blast catching up from the last time we got to hang out. Each girl got about $10 bucks just for stepping on the stage. There’s three stages here btw, the smaller one was used for tonight. I think the girls were cracking up at us just having a grand ol time by ourselves, while the pervers were white knuckling their cash. I just have to say, the bartender served us some strong pours. It even got better as she stepped on staged for a little bit of practice. What I loved was that the girls let us pick out songs for them to dance. Some of the girls were okay in performance and pole maneuvers. Yes, we frequent clubs and rate them, along with drinking and having a blast at it. There wasn’t anything particular with any girl that stood out. This by far isn’t a top notch club, but it was late, I was flying out in the morning, and the drinks were stiff. Some girls were a bit skinny and one looked prego. This place is definitely one to experience, if you like shady throw back strip joints. It has that “Dude, where’s my car?” atmosphere. I loved every minute of this place, lol.

4. Terrible service. I was immediately dissapointed when being practically frisked for information on how many drinks I had that night when ordering my first beer??? Then was pitched some bull story about the bartender receiving a ticket if I leave there and get a DUI?? Was hassling many guests and crudely cutting off whole groups of grown men who clearly weren’t over intoxicated. Waste of time and money when there’s plenty better or just as good right down the street, LOL!!!

5. I have located a few clubs in Portland since arriving in Oregon from Nevada, where I never went. But I always seem to come back most often to Dancin’ Bare. There are no other places with better fries, the girls behind the bar know me and what I drink. Occassionally I’ll get hassled by the bouncer, but I get over it. Talia is the best looking, best dancing and friendliest stripper anywhere. All and I mean all the other girls are ok, too. The place is plenty big without outdoing Stars-Beaverton, which is way too roomy for me and not too small like Mary’s. I like Mary’s, first place I found. Penny is a pool expert and will play you a game, just don’t let her win. Crissy behind the bar is a knock-out. Oh and there are 2 pool tables.

6. Dancin Bare looks run down from the outside but is a fairly nice place with a nice atmosphere. Dancers range from 6s to 9s during slow hours. They break out the 9s and 10s with huge jugs on Fri & Sat night but it’s also too crowded for me to enjoy at those times. Check it out on a Sunday night or weekday afternoon if you don’t like crowds.

8. As a Seattlite, who used to smoke, I was excited to be able to see dancin’ chicks WHILE drinking booze AND chain smoking, if only for the novelty. This club seemed epically large, with at least three poles that I saw. Sadly, we inadvertently sat right next to the “lap dance” corner, which made for some awkward and rather messy viewing.Overall, I wasn’t too impressed with the girls, as many seemed to be giving a lackluster performance- really ladies, where was the heart? But this one performer had abnormally flat feet, and she could scale that pole like a friggin’ hopped up squirrel! It was amazing! I think we tipped her out over $15 bucks in one song. I wish I knew her name.

9. I really think that once you’ve seen a strip club, you’ve kind of seen them all, so I’ll keep this fairly short and sweet.The atmosphere, drinks and pretty much everything else is unremarkable and generally seedy, as you might expect from any other divey strip club in the world. I’d give it a bland three stars for that.However, the girls are awesome! It’s full-nude and I was stoked to see women of all shapes, sizes, colors and styles dancing (Sapphire was my favorite.) There’s enough room to get pretty close to one of the two stages or to hang back, and plenty of opportunity to get yourself a lap dance if you’re so inclined. So 5 stars for the talent.The only thing that pissed me off is that this place won’t accept cards at the bar. Add to that the fact that they’re in the middle of nowhere and the ATM is also out of order, and that just plain sucks. So yeah. Zero stars for that shit. Which brings me to my average of 3 stars.

10. This place is exactly what you want it to be: affordable fun and bolstering a line up that covers any type you could imagine. Plus the girls are all really friendly. You can chat with them, they’ll get naked, and you wont break the bank unless you find that certain special lady you want all to yourself for 3 short songs.I have been cut off here a few times near the end of an already long night out. But probably for good reasons that I can’t remember. So behave yourself if you can. The staff is watching, as they should be.All in all a great north portland staple that I would be really sad to see go. You want your veggies local? I want my strippers local!*Recommend: This is a cash only venue. There is a wells fargo across the street. Use this information how you will.

11. Was not impressed with the attire that the girls were sporting. Really enjoyed the first two dancers but then had a third dancer that complained about our tipping so we left! If you are not going to dance for us then there is no tip. I am sorry but Ugg boots are NOT hot!! Also band aid over your bruise is not hot either. Was told if we weren’t getting trashed on alcohol then we had to get out. There was a total of 4 of us and only two others in the whole place. Guess the one two people that were left will have to tip more.

12. the girls here create a poor stipping atmosphere for my cock. they are unfriendly, unprofessional, unhappy and have saddle bags!

    fuck your club i hope it burns to the ground

13. Place is so gross and dirty. Music is absolutely horrible . Dancers are very trashy looking, they’re not cute at all. There were 2 body types here the girl that just had a baby last week or the body type that was anemic and gross. Average size of lady lumps were pry a c cup, or tiny bee stings. Drinks are horrible. Save your dough and go somewhere else this place blows.

14. The term “skank pit” constantly comes to mind. Smoky. Unattractive dancers whose style was too gynecological.

15. I go to a strip club but once in a.. well only once before, like 10 years ago. But I have to agree with the popular sentiment that once you’ve seen one you’ve seen them all.Briefly: This place exudes an aire of sketchiness. Aren’t strip clubs supposed to to some extent. We were there in the middle of the day on a Wednesday, their were a couple of guys at the bar and two stages open with one guy at each. I could never see how one could “get involved” with a stripper, The entire ordeal is so sloppily manufactured as to be insulting and bizarre. Custom is to tip the girls a buck a song. Here its all nude, so to me a buck is a little miserly. I brought my girlfriend who was immediately turned into a prop so that the girl may entice the other guys at the stage. So, that’s just good service. Oooh, she then masturbated in front of me. You know what, the more I think about it the more appealing this ‘ordeal’ becomes. You throw some cheap drinks in the mix and you’ve got a party! Woot! Then I saw my friends girlfriends asshole..ahem.A strange naked journey into the dark heart of what motivates us at a dollar a song.

16. Haven’t been here in years but decided to check it out before the xmas holiday. Me and my friend put our money up and unfortunately the girl dancing decided to ignore us and later said she didnt know we spoke English?? Pardon me for looking too “ethnic” Skip this dive ass supposed strip club…

17. This is based from memory it has been a couple years since i been at this place. I am giving this place 4 stars because coming from Ca where you can not drink booze at full nude strip clubs and at this place you can and there is no cover charge. So i took my cousin here for his bday and we walked in and there were naked girls everywhere and a full bar. they had 3 different stages in there and the girls were good looking also. next time i am out that way i will stop by again

18. There’s a part of me, deep inside my shameful appreciation of puns, that makes me want to like the Dancin’ Bare, simply for the name alone. But upon every return visit to this dive simply churns up that burning question in my head once again: Why do I do this to myself? Why do I come out here to old NoPo, the end of the line (so to speak – the MAX does run further than this), the place where strippers go out to pasture? Is it because I like having the staff behind the bar ignore me and treat me like a nuisance even when there’s pretty much nobody else in da club? Is it because I like dealing with cash only BS? Is it because I like sticky bathroom floors and even stickier strip club floors? No. It’s because I want the Dancin’ Bare to be something it’s not. To have the quaint charm of Magic Garden or the demon grin of Devil’s Point. But really it’s what you’d expect from a strip club out near the end of the max line that’s set up somewhat like a too-dark banquet hall. Where the drinks aren’t as stiff as they should be for the style of the place. Where, depending on the day and time, you might find some nice, cool girls on stage but mostly they’re in a bad mood, likely from dealing the the type of crowd that calls this joint home. A rough-and-tumble hodgepodge of old school NoPo holdouts. I may end up here again. Probably not by choice.

19. I enjoy going out to strip clubs sometimes. I’m not by any means against strip clubs. But the Bare is a dank cave of skank-tastic hustlers. Some people might take that encouragingly, but I don’t mean it “in the good way”.

20. This side of the river (Van-tucky) has no strip clubs… :(The I-5 side of the couve is extra pathetic, because it takes like 25-30 Minutes to drive to a really decent mid-club… So it is either go hit the clubs in downtown OR hit the Dancing Bare… hmmm. I do like the Paul Bunyan statue… DB here we come!Now to tell the truth i like a seedier Portland club to go to, much more than a really upscale gentlemens club in Vegas or Dallas or Miami.Why? in a nutshell, the Portland scene girls are not Barbi dolls with no fucking personality or complete whores, they have fun on stage and talk to you and have fun with it… glam-strip places are like going to an LA model shoot, without the cocaine in the back room, if you get my drift.The bare is about as dark and seedy and run down as you can get without me actually considering it a complete dump… beers were reasonably priced… pitchers of PBR like 10-11 bucks, lagunitas IPA and ‘those’ types of beer were a 4.50 a pint… not great, but reasonable.The ‘main’ stage was really dark… like it was missing some lightbulbs or they were removed for the “heroin users reunion night” to hide the track marks or something…we opted for the ‘Pole’ side where we could see the dancers and they were all okay… mostly, the girls are a little on the young side and kind of skinny… so much so, that my companion asked one of them if she could tip her a sandwich… she didn’t get it. (the joke… OR the sandoBetter than Marys, not nearly as good as the Club 205…. Basically a Full nude, full serve (middle of the road) nudie bar that is about 7 minutes from downtown Vancouver.

21. Now, don’t take these two stars the wrong way. I actually think Dancin’ Bare is an underrated strip club. I mean, it’s still bad, but not nearly as bad as people say. (Management- you have permission to use that as a pull quote.)First thing that struck me about this place was how surprisingly big it was. Something like 3 stages? I mean you could fit 4 or 5 Mary’s Clubs in here comfortably.The other thing that struck me was the lack of dank. I mean, sure, it was a dirty strip club, but some of these reviews would have you believe that you’re going to find GAK on the chairs or something.Also, there’s a distinct lack of gun / knife wounds on the strippers. I looked. Yes, OK, maybe 25% of their dancers should hang it up. I’m not sure if you actually hang those type of shoes, but you know what I mean.The point is, most of their strippers were good to go. The bar was fine – no dirty glasses or anything like that. The paper tree decorations were a little weird – kinda reminded me of something they’d hang up in grade school – but let’s face it, if you’re this far off the beaten path (and most likely drunk) you’re willing to put up with a lot worse to see some nudity.That being said, it still is not good. It has a real truck-stop vibe to it and not nearly enough dancers for me. The private dance area seemed like it was behind Playskool’s My First Fence. The idea of waiting until a stripper had enough free time to even give a lapdance there…it’s not a good way to spend Saturday night when you’re drunk out of your mind on Vodka.Unless it’s your only option, then by all means, don’t be afraid of this place. (another pull-quote)One other positive note: there was a grave misunderstanding at the bar where I accidentally spilled a drink, but if you were quick to judgement it might have seemed like I threw it. The bouncer actually took the time to see reasonably what was going and did not beat the hell out of me. Not even a little.Now that is Portland hospitality at its finest.

22. I was here 5/31/2013 and they don’t have the $5 steak special anymore (apparently gone as of last year) Also, why is this the ONLY strip club in Portland that doesn’t allow you to use a cell phone (even for texting or for checking the time) or bring an Apple iPad in? I think it’s ridiculous in this time and age, as we should have the freedom to use them if it doesn’t disturb other people! I can understand why they wouldn’t want you to take photos of the strippers, but it’s not a damn movie theater! If I want to eat and enjoy a $13.25 rib-eye steak dinner and read news on my Apple iPad (with no noise and no bright lights), I should be able to and not have to be harassed by the bouncers on this stupid dumb policy!!!

23. The Dancing Bear is a cheap, friendly strip bar with lovely, talented dancers, a great bouncer and a great staff. Hidee is a wonderful addition to the staff, very competent and professional.

24. I like to visit different clubs when in town and Portland has some nice clubs. Dancing Bare though was pretty boring including the girls and the music. The VIP section was too lit up and dances were not too exciting as well. The food was good and cheap but I will not be coming back to this club. It is not the worst club I have been to in Oregon but defiantly a locals only club. Regulars seem to get the attention there.