Club Madonna

0 reviews for “Club Madonna”

1. If you go, you gotta see Mya – Columbian Goddess mmm mmm

2. Crappiest place ever! Bait & Switch! Check-In was buy one get one free. Not worth your time.

4. Gotta agree with the posters here. The only saving grace is that there are some very cute European girls. But what’s the point if it’s BYOB and you can’t touch!All in all I have never seen such aggressive “saleswomen”….

5. I went here on Friday & Saturday night. Friday nights are easily the best with 2 for 1 lap dances at $25 and about 10-15 girls to choose from, mostly Spanish/Latin and white. The girls range from 4 to 8 here with a similarly broad range of dancing quality. A good majority of the girls don’t pander out much for tips even while you’re sitting at the stage, so those looking for personal attention might be disappointed. Easily the best girl is Catalina… She does a good stage dance, an even better lap dance, and knows how to push the right buttons. The girls push too hard for VIP ($300 for 1/2 hour) after the lap dances and after I bought 4-5 LD’s, I became annoyed at saying no.

6. This night club is disgusting. The girls don’t know how to work the pole, let alone dance. I felt sorry for them. Please look up their scandal on google before thinking of attending, there was an underage girl stripping apparently against her own will for money. The hostess made us purchase alcoholic (watered down) beverages, saying it was mandatory to at least buy one drink. She over priced my boyfriends beer, and when we complained she rudely gave us our money back. Bottom line: DO NOT WASTE YOUR TIME. You’re in Miami, go elsewhere.

7. So I had really high expectations going to a strip club out in south beach miami! I mean the women out here are beautiful and well the strip club I expected a fantasy world….mehhhh far from thaton top of the strip club itself was a little dinky and they were only serving beer!!it was a saturday and NO ONE was there it was nearly empty…no one and I mean no one was making it rain…it was a sad sight south beach not the place to go to the strip club

8. The women are pushy with the lap dances and “extras”, and the stage show is clearly an after-thought. But the women were attractive and fun and I would have given it 4 stars were it not for the fact that they *serve nonalcoholic beer as regular beer*. At no point were we told the beer was non-alcoholic by the servers, one of the strippers told us. Borderline fraud.

9. We came here on December. It’s the worst experience in Miami. No hot girls. We pay 20 dollars. A cup of bear cost 12 dollars. No shows. They force you to watch live dance. They rip-off visitors. It’s almost empty even we went there on a holiday. It is a waste of money!!

10. So my friends and i finally decided to go to a strip club. From the girl sitting outside with a dull expression we weren’t sure about going in but whatever, we decided to just give it a shot.Entrace for girls is $10 and for guys $20. The place isn’t really that big, and there was only ONE girl who was hot. I went to a strip club to see some cool pole dances and i didnt. The girls dont really dance. Save your money dont come here we left after an hour!

11. SO funny, only women have rated this club, and they all said nonsense about it. This a a GREAT place to go…not ONLY for stripping but to find a DATE! Met two UBER HOT MD students from UM moonlighting here to work their way through medical school. What a scene

12. The worst club ever! It is waste of money and time. Girls are very pushy. Asking tips, following you even when you go to the restroom. They ask extra for vip room and plus extra for dance. Sunday night was totally dead and they were only doing lap dances. Anyways, horrible place and bad service

14. Went here only one time and I gotta say this strip club is profound, all the dancers and employees are total sweet hearts and fun to talk to but the owners are total douchebags. Surprisingly everything is cheaper here than any other place iv been to by 5$ literally, this is very surprising because: hello wer on south beach?!? Commercial enterprise of the world well w/e I guess the drive as well as parking are taken into consideration. Just learned BYOB fuckn sweet. You may even get touched by the girls even if your broke/ran out of moneys. && they are BUTTnaked. Lovee ett some models resemble celebrities/ pornstars which is hot and awesome! Why is this 5$ cheaper again?? Ohh yeah they won’t serve you anything but beer which I am allergic to. Girls of all types although birds of a feather flock together! They made a nickname to tease me by : hard Peepee

15. DO NOT GO . first of , all of the “wine” and “beer ‘ they serve is NON alcoholic , I repeat , their booze is fake . to make ya’ll think you’re getting drunk . all the dancers are mediocre to ‘crackhead in recovery’, don’t actually dance at all on stage, and harass you soon as you walk thru the door . there is no reasoning with them , they mostly speak no English . will agree with everything you say to get you in the back . TWILIGHT ZONE EXPERIENCE. To all the strippers thinking of working there , STAY AWAY. You wont make shit .

16. Girls are pushy. Pricing is not clear and made up by the girl. Hustled me and my friends out of hundreds each for a whack lap dance. Place is a scam through and through. Go somewhere else!

17. Seeing all the advertisement on taxis, I thought this place would be hella good but boy were we wrong. The dancers look bored while they’re dancing, the music sucked & the crowd was plain dead. The drink menu on the tables said a glass of wine was $8 & when I went to buy a glass, the bartender said that was only for happy hour. I asked him it didnt say that on the menu & he just said well it’s $12. Never coming here again. Dont waste your time nor your money.

18. Do not go!! Waste of time and money

20. I was here during the holidays .. this place is a ripoff.

    Each lap dance costs $65 .. 40 for the room and 25 for the girl .. I have never seen a room price for a LD.

    Beware of this place. And a $20 cover charge .. come on

21. OK so ladies get in half price here which is a total double standard, but it’s one that saves me money so I guess I’m a bit more lenient.. My GF and I came here on our vacation in South Beach, and it was kind of uncomfortable. We were the only female customers in the place at first, and we definitely got a few double takes from some people, which was unfortunate. They have a drink minimum so I got a soda and my gf had wine (not a wise choice for such a location, but eh she doesn’t listen to me). For the first ten minutes I was afraid we would get approached by rude male customers, but we didn’t. The girls were nice for the most part. Some, like one beautiful blonde, avoided us like the plague. She stuck to the older men, probably because she thought they’d spend more $$ (and she was probably right). One girl however, seemed very interested in us. She kept coming over and asking if we wanted a double lap dance. Unfortunately, it was a little out of our price range. Overall, some girls were very nice and treated us like regular customers. Others seemed intimidated or confused. Not sure I would go back to this particular place. Why can’t there be clubs that are inclusive of all communities, like they show on the L word?

22. The worst strip club ever, the woman are thirsty from the moment you walk in and they are hell bent on giving you a lap dance. Not to mention they offer you sex for money. Not a good place to go.

23. THE ABSOLUTE WORST STRIP CLUB I HAVE EVER BEEN TOO!!!. I was back in Miami circa March 2015. Wack stripper conned me out of hundreds of dollars for a shitty lap dance after telling her I was there for my birthday to which she replied “I will give you the birthday special”. A shitty 7 minute lap dance. Fucken stupid bitch I wanted to choke her!! I didn’t lay a hand on her because although she was a liar and a skank, and a colourful assortment of more swearwords, II don’t hit women. Plus god only knows what put her in that position to intentionally scam unassuming patrons at what is probably the worst strip club on Earth. I will never be going here ever again! And if your reading this because your considering coming here, just avoid this place read all the other reviews! I didn’t want to come here from the beginning, I had a bad feeling, unfortunately I had no choice as the girls we were with didn’t want to leave South Beach so we could go clubbing after and they were staying at the Harrison Hotel nearby, so it was convenient I guess. On further investigation my friend who lives in north Miami told me this place was shut down for a month a little while ago. Apparantly they had a minor (13 year old) stripping there. How disgusting! Stay away from this seedy den. Don’t believe me?? Google “club Madonna Miami Herald” and read for yourself ! I don’t know how the sleazebag owner manages to keep this dump open.

24. So, so, sooo disappointed with this place! I’ve been here numerous times and have had a blast. I brought my boyfriend after 4am ready to have a great time, and it was horrible! Service girl brought me ten dollars short of change when I got singles which I just brushed under the rug as an honest mistake, and we ordered a bottle of champagne for $150 which is great and after chugging two glasses I noticed on the bottle it was actually “cider” and “non alcoholic”…We did not care about the money and both being in the service industry I was disgusted and disappointed. we were straight up being hustled and even when trying to talk to the manager all we got was a thousand “I hear you.” Management was useless, our server was useless and one elderly Russian(?) dancer told us to stop complaining. Needless to say, unfortunately I will not be back.

25. Never go here! Took 100 dollars for 5 minute dance after promising 15 mins. We were 7 of us and all of us were duped.

26. One star is too many. This place is a scam from the minute you walk in. Sign said $8 for a beer and they charge $12 and state Happy Hour is over. The sign says a lap dance is $25 and they provide a 2 for 1 coupon. Immediately the girls try to squeeze you for $150 and don’t even dance for you. I have been to gentlemens clubs around the world and never experienced crap like this.

27. Brought a friend from out of town over to SOBE from the Groove only to find out that they changed their hours from 6pm to 10pm. I wouldn’t have a problem with this but every media site we checked said they open at 6pm. When we got there I noticed the sign advertising two different times. Of course when we brought it up to the gentleman at the door he just shrugged his shoulders. I feel sorry for anyone who makes a long distance drive here only to find out they’re closed. I can’t mention anything else because we didn’t come back at 10 we just went to Tootises instead.

28. guys dont go there…..pls never ever ever ever go thereif u are reading this because u are looking for a good place where u can enjoy. dont go therewhy? overprice! just take a cab and pay 20 bucks to get to other place like gold rush… or other… this place got girls that will try to get ur money in anyway they can they took my credit card and charge whatever they want!if u wanna go and expend some dollars just wacthing dont go there 20 dollars to go in! and minimun drinking????no way! i wen for my birthday and i will never go again..never!if i can put a lower star ill put itthe place was empty ……. that should tip us… but noooooooo we stay and my friend and i were rip off…dont go there enjoy the beach enjoy the club dont go to madonnas that place is going down every day they dont even sell alcohol!!!! come ON!!!!!!!!!!!!

29. So i went to Madonnas and the girls that were sitting outside are just models not strippers, the strippers are not attractive at all they will ask for tip if not given, as well as the waitress will too, theres just somethings you dont ask like that. What a horrible experience! TOOTIES ALLL DAYYYY

30. Yucky. You would think SOBE would attract some talent.

31. if i could give this shit hole a negative star rating i would. These assholes told me and my boyfriend we were getting a bottle of champagne for $85, but forget to mention IT WAS NON ALCOHOLIC. Once we confronted the waitress she just simply shrugged it off as if it wasn’t $85 FUCKING DOLLARS FOR APPLE JUICE. Assuming the tall skinny foreigner was a manager or something (as he asked us what he could do for us) we told him what the problem was and he told us he couldn’t refund us at all, but could recommend us another bar to go waste money at…. shut this shit hole down!!!!!!

32. The prices are outrageous and mostly hidden. The girls were not impressive. You’d be better off driving to Tampa and hitting the worst strip club there than coming here.

33. Worst place ever strippers look tired I was there for 2 hours I saw one nip and they serve fake beer

34. I’ve been here four times, so have a valid opinion about madonnas. The service has always been terrible in every way. Servers always demand more tip even if your being generous already. You have to tip some guy to let you go in the bathroom, he doesn’t talk, he just points at his tip jar. The women don’t know how to dance and always have the facial expression that they don’t want to be there. Most are ugly girls with scars and from former Soviet Union states. They all act like they are not the dogs of society. The music always plays low and makes the atmosphere awkward. The strippers always bother non stop for a dance. Only two types of beer, wine and champagne. $20 to go in, mind you, no liquor and its pretty small. Worst strip club I’ve ever been to. DO NOT GO

35. First off, my hubby and I along with another couple decided …when in Miami, party hard…so after a few drinks at a dive bar around the corner and b/c this club was right across the street from our hotel…and we had never been to a stripclub together before, we headed over, looking for a good time.Well, I have to say, DISAPPOINTED is not a strong enough word to describe how lame this club is. First the cover is pretty outrageous. This was last November so it might be different, but it was $20 for him/$10 for me…we were expecting a lot from the “hot Miami” girls…but apparently, they must hire models for their ads and we must be naive to think ALL women in Miami have boob jobs…These girls couldn’t do ANYTHING …and we’ve all been to better strip clubs…Not only that but they did not serve REAL beer, just non-alcholic, apparently b/c the girls go COMPLETELY nude…well, we didn’t see any of that, and b/c we were there to party, NOT having alcohol really ruined the whole “stripclub” experience for us. Not one girl approached our table, they couldn’t dance (why have poles if no one is going to spin on them?), and no alcohol…BORING and LAME. How is that even POSSIBLE?!?! Oh and they were NOT cute. I am very open minded and happy to pass out compliments to fellow ladies, but these girls were BUNK in the worst way…Forget boob jobs..they should just wear bags over their heads. This was generally the worst strip joint I’ve ever walked into and I didn’t think that was possible, considering I’m from Indiana! But the Yankees definitely take the cake in hotter, better strippers where I am coming from and my companions 100% agreed. After eating $50 on cover and two drinks, we were out of there.And, we recommend that you avoid it as well!

36. Pretty decent, if you are low on cash and don’t mind low quality.

37. Dance prices are expensive. You prepay 25$ for each dance before you go in the dance area and at the end you pay another 25$ for each dance to the dancer for touching. Many girls are below average looking and will offer sex after work.

38. How can you charge $20 at the door and NOT SERVE ALCOHOL?!?!?If the New Times had a WORST OF MIAMI this place would win every year.